Number 79 “Let’s Jump To Our Feet, and Hoof It to The Show…”

“Let’s Jump To Our Feet, and Hoof
It To The Show…”

Goin’ back to the “Years of Discovery”…

No not 1974, not for me anyway, this was 1976… What was I soon to discover? The meaning between the lines….

Now, the reality is, I was just a boy a little ahead of my adolescent time. I already had an affection, an affliction for a taste of the other side. I’d heard the Stones, I’d heard the Doors, I’d heard the Who, Led Zeppelin, and their attempts at sexual innuendo, but the reality is, what they were writing and singing about would soon be looked at as tame. Sure there were others who threw the sexuality in your face straight with shot of Jack as a chaser, but this… this was different.

The song for me was a mood, it was the chase, it was the “flirt” if you will, from both sides. It was the art of pursuit, the allure of the enticement. It captured the adrenaline of the first look, the moment of notice. It captures the female awareness of their own sexuality ….

As just a very young 14 year old boy, yet not necessarily a stranger to the opposite sex, I was definitely one without the experience to illicit any kind of appeal in return, other than my God given looks, but we all know what that will buy you. In other words, like so many other teenage boys of the late 70s, I wasn’t as cool as I wanted people to think I was, and I certainly wasn’t as tough as I thought I was, or even as talented, or as smart as a lot of my friends were. And definitely not musically inclined… So what does a “po’ boy” do with that? He listens, he listens to what the melody, the beat is telling him… He listens to the lyrics… He listens to the story… he watches, in his own mind, the conveyance of confidence the song is giving… “You’re at ‘no’ right now, you can only go up better from there”.

It’s not just a story of a hot chick on the beach; it’s a story of how to convey your desire… And more than “just going and getting it”, it’s about doing so with guile, a boldness, that will for sure scare many away, but with enough humility inside the audacity to give off a degree of curiosity, and intrigue. You don’t claim to be the best, but you go farther than the rest… By the way, still at the age of 14, being a very young boy without much direction from either parent, I figured why not listen to what these guys were sayin’. This is still just the beginning chapters of the handbook, almost like a “Beginners Cooking Class” or something like that. Just learning how to measure, how much ingredients to use, and which spices to use. And believe me, if you don’t pay attention, you can really fuck it up, and end up eating nothing but a cold sandwich for dinner.

I was a very luck young man in 1978… I met a woman you will hear more about in these pages at a later date, but I’ll just say this for now; Linda was a woman that new how to “cook” up something good to eat, Southern style. And with a teacher like that, your hunger just grows, never quite being fully satisfied. At least not at that age. So many times we “Hoofed to the Ocean”  for a picnic, so to speak, on the beach. Linda was a certified 5 star Chef when it came to sex, and she was so very willing to teach me the trade. For now though, I’ll just wet your appetite with Linda. The main course will come in the pages ahead.

The song’s rhythm guitar, bass, and percussion take the role of the star of the song. That combination of musical story telling is watching her walk. The beat is every step, the sway of her “fanny” as she “walks by”. It’s captivating, you can’t help but feel her walk, feel the rhythm with each step, as you watch from behind… then the lead guitar is the narrator of the story, it’s his interest as it peaks, as his eyebrows raise, as he tips down his sunglasses to get an unfiltered look as he notices her. It’s the hormones as they speed through his veins. The lyrics, describe the scent, and the invisible persona projected by a girl who’s just got “IT”. They describe a beach scene just the same as any other beach day, until she walks by. Something about THIS chick, is so much more than the rest. Although for all we know, she may have less. It’s a package deal.

A lot of what I have done here is convey, what many women will perceive as a “piggish” trait of men and boys, a character of a boy, that we fathers try to keep and protect our daughters from. The trouble with that idea though, is that maybe unlike (or like) many other guys, I WAS that boy! I didn’t protect my daughters, as much as I tried to teach them, of their own will. You see, the story also conveys the message of a woman, a girl, who doesn’t abuse her power, but uses it, who doesn’t just give in… You see, the narrator is asking, but the story doesn’t say he gets what he’s asking for… Not yet at least.

Its absolute male hormones in overdrive! So, whether you like this description, or think it’s utterly sophomoric, and cheesy… To use a phrase, I just can’t stand, it really works here; “it is… what it is” even if it works “Just for me yeah, just for me”…

I hope you like Joey’s writing and collaboration debut here. If you read his book Hit Hard, this could very well have come from his time as a teenager on Long Island… A “coming of age”, so to speak. The song is done in true Aerosmith style. It’s with done with that male hormone grit, and even an immature nastiness about it, all the while with a sense of humor and just this side of no class, that with the combination of all those things, gives off an “aura” of sexuality, without sex.

“Now I ain’t what you’d call a city slicker
Or claim to fame to be a slitty licker…”

This is “Pandora’s Box”

Published by


I am a man of simple means. My family is what's important to me. My family and my 3 girls mean more to than the sun! If you ask me what I think, I will tell you straight! So don't ask if you don't wanna know. I like people who are real and don't like those who aren't. You'll know where you fit with me pretty quick. I give most everyone the benefit of the doubt, at least until they prove me wrong. I've lived most my life like there was no tomorrow, at least until my daughters were born, and then even a bit after. By the way; That is NOT good advice... just a statement. I don't believe in "Halfway" Why put on the skis if you're not gonna at least try the face? But I also believe that there is more than Black and White. I believe in where I came from, I don't believe what I went through was ALL worth it! I believe in doing the right thing, more than doing what's right! I believe in "true" friendship, I also know that 99% of them aren't true. I will live a happy life and die a complete man if my kids learn from my mistakes.