Number 11 – Hey Bar Keep… You Got Somethin’ I Can Wet My Whistle With?


Just 9 days away from Blue Army ecstasy in South Lake Tahoe
What better than the song that defines a whole Army?
They might just hear this one ion North Shore

Down 4 spots from 2014, but still a diamond in the Rocks!

Who in their right mind is going to take a Gene Autry Country Western Family? Folk song and turn it into, a song about visiting brothels and a special kind of prostitute? Who has the balls to do something like that!!??!! Who could, not only do that, but make it one of the biggest songs of the decade in rock n roll? Not just a big song, but an iconic song, by an iconic band, during an iconic time, when stadiums and arenas were being filled by 80,000 fans at a time, rather than the clubs and theaters of a few thousand, just a few short years prior. This was the song that was going to blow the roof off! Who could do that? How about the Toxic Twins and the L.I.-3? Five guys that pour sexuality and sexual innuendo all over the stage like fucking syrup! And all over the audience I might add, like some kind of liquid fucking dessert!

Women are going to read this and say; “That’s disgusting”. Some guys are gonna’ read this and say; “Unbelievable, I had no idea!”. Other guys are going to read this, and say; “I don’t believe he just said that!”… I’m just going to say America is the Land of Opportunity, and when the opportunity “rises” for a 16 year old boy, he’s going to go ahead and “peel off his boots and chaps”.


While most of Middle America had no real clue what the song was about, there were a few of us, even at a tender age, who already paid our “4 bits”. There were a few of us that new what Peter Green was singing about in “Rattlesnake Shake”. So when the ‘snake is gonna’ rattle’, you can get the drift of what Steven was saying. Just up Mendocino Avenue in Santa Rosa, just up past the edge of town back then. Right past the Round Barn, right past what is now Bicentennial Parkway, just before, what is now Wells Fargo Center for Arts… for a little bit more than four bits, you could get your saddle shined… and a few other places around town and, Sebastopol too.

Some songs define albums such as “Mama Kin”, “Seasons”, “Train”, “Sweet Emotion”, “Walk”, “Draw”, “Janie”, “Elevator”, and “Edge”, but this song… This song not only defined the album, but also the era, and more specifically, the group. The song was a salacious credo, and homage to the “Whore Houses” of the American West. Homage to the men from yesteryear and the ladies who made them feel special, to all the men and women before, and since. It’s a different side of life. A side that was clearly welcomed in some communities, and a side of life in other communities that was left unseen, unnoticed, kept quiet. A side of life that everyone knows of, but didn’t discuss and it’s still that way in some parts.

It’s a song about being on the road by horseback, and looking forward to just getting a little refreshment and delight. It didn’t have to be real, and maybe its better that it wasn’t. It was a desire, an appetite, a craving. It was a ride, a whirl. It was a pleasure without consequence. It was an indulgence of gratification. It was a Black Jack table doubling down and just sayin’ “Hit Me”. It wasn’t about winning or losing, it was about the thrill of the ride…

The song’s pace takes you on a slow gallop, to the corral, slowly getting faster, and faster as it goes. Building up to a climax, complete with snappin’ whips. Well, the truth is the sounds were actually an electrical cord being swirled in the studio, and a cap gun for “Crack of the whip” sound. Apparently, they tried using a real bullwhip, but cut themselves up pretty good, before giving up.  The “Rocks” album was the first record the group put out in “Quadraphonic Sound”, which was the coolest thing since the 8 Track Tape at the time! Well, if you had 4 speakers…. The whip would circle around the room, almost like it was right over your head!… That is, if you had speakers in each of the 4 corners of the room.


From the “Walk This Way” Autobiography: Jack said;
“We recorded the song to have a larger-than-life vibe, to bring the band right into the middle of the kid’s head when he put on his ‘phones in his bedroom late at night.”

It happened! It worked! They were in my fucking room in Quadraphonic sound!

The song has taken on a life of its own really, from being all time favorites of Slash and James Hatfield, among others. It’s been used by the NFL, and NASCAR alike, as well OSU’s Football Team, and Mark Wahlberg in “The Fighter”.

Sukie Jones, was Steven’s creation, not a real person. Another fan of the song is Guns N’ Roses original drummer Steven Adler, who in the past had a band called “Sukie Jones”, before naming it something else. And yes, our youngest puppy is named Sukie Jones’ Topaz and Sassafrass.

You guys might get a kick out of the following letter Aerosmith sent to Congressman Eric Cantor in ’09, after Cantor’s election committee created a video ad with the song…

Dear Rep. Cantor,
Thanks for promoting our song about the hooker Sukie Jones. You and Sukie are made for each other. You’ve moved up from being the Chief Deputy Whip to Republican Whip in the 111th Congress. And her specialty is whipping bad boys like you.
Yeah, you and your Republican friends outflanked the Democrats in the stimulus battle. You showed them what a real stimulus plan should be about, didn’t you, Mr. Republican Whip? Hookers, right?
You left no doubt where your mind is when you picked our song. Maybe your constituents can’t hear the words. But we know you like any song about a saddle-sore cowpoke riding into a saloon town of soakin’ wet girls to get some time in the rack with his four-bit hooker.
And, we bet we’re not the only ones who thought it was funny when your staff sent out the old AFSCME ad with the bogus sound track full of obscenities. Pretty funny. You, the bastion of conservatism who always defends America against swear words. I bet your constituents in the Bible Belt got the joke.
Hope you don’t bleep all the good parts in our song when you find out what we’re singing about. But, hey, you won’t. That was your point, right?
Of course, we almost forgot. Your friend, Sen. David Vitter, has probably introduced you to ol’ Sukie. He knows all the hookers from New Orleans to Washington.
And just imagine what you and Vitter get into on your foreign junkets. (Junkets? Where do you guys come up with these words?) I bet the taxpayers are glad to pay for all that. You guys need a break now and then.
You’re known for going on the House floor to rail against swear words and how they’re destroying America. But with Sukie, you can say all the bleeped words from the ads you and your staff promote. She’ll spank your skinny butt every time you yell one. She’ll even dress like your mother if you like that better than her leather boots and metal-studded pants suit. Or … is that what your mom wore, too?
So, get back in the saddle again, Mr. Whip. And beg Sukie to whip you. Harder. Make it hurt. You’re a bad boy, Eric.

Your buddies,

You gotta’ love these guys!

If you’re gonna’ follow up an album like “Toys”, a song like “Walk This Way”, they couldn’t have created a better song to open up the next album with, than this one. This one fucking “ROCKS” you right out of your boots, and right out of your saddle!!! Absolutely is, and always will be a Top 10!

Thank you Joe and Brad for speeding up this album! Thank you for all that this song is. Thank you Joey and Tom for keeping this one going from start to finish. Thank you Steven for your imagination in technique and keeping up with Joe on this one. Thank you Jack for your vision!

The 1st one is the Studio version for effect

And for my own fun; the second video is of a Blues version by Lou Graham and Sugar Blue, video made by me. By the way this video got me kicked out of another Aerosmith group for being “Too Risque”, and showing a naked woman on a horse A La’ Lady Godiva. It actually ended up getting me stalked, and also my youngest daughter’s pictures stolen just to slander me… There’s some strange people out there. Hard to imagine this video, being too risqué for an Aerosmith video, but then again… The woman does PhotoShop herself into Steven’s pics and posts them as though she is his wife…

The 3rd is awesome…

And the last, just because you CANNOT get enough of this song!

“Fools’ gold outta’ their mines
The girls are soaking wet
No tongue’s drier than mine
I’ll come when I get back…”

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I am a man of simple means. My family is what's important to me. My family and my 3 girls mean more to than the sun! If you ask me what I think, I will tell you straight! So don't ask if you don't wanna know. I like people who are real and don't like those who aren't. You'll know where you fit with me pretty quick. I give most everyone the benefit of the doubt, at least until they prove me wrong. I've lived most my life like there was no tomorrow, at least until my daughters were born, and then even a bit after. By the way; That is NOT good advice... just a statement. I don't believe in "Halfway" Why put on the skis if you're not gonna at least try the face? But I also believe that there is more than Black and White. I believe in where I came from, I don't believe what I went through was ALL worth it! I believe in doing the right thing, more than doing what's right! I believe in "true" friendship, I also know that 99% of them aren't true. I will live a happy life and die a complete man if my kids learn from my mistakes.