Number 93 – Just Tryin’ to Survive…

We spend our lives putting conditions on people, rather than simply accepting. I am just as guilty as everyone else, no judging of others, without me 1st. But wouldn’t it be cool if we could all just have a taste before we throw out the whole meal?

I’ve heard and, read a lot of people’s opinions over the years, about who’s to blame for the man’s relapses. Some often say a key player in that role is the co-writer of this song… among others. But that usually comes from people that don’t know addiction. It’s not about who brought it to the party, it’s about the fact that the party was going to happen no matter who came. The drugs will find you, and you will find the drugs…

It really is that simple.

How many Power Ballads does it take to get to the middle of the tootsie pop? Look, I get it…. They’re kind of like foreplay. They’re a necessary piece of the prize. You gotta’ give a little, to get A LOT! Most of us guys would rather just skip that part sometimes. But then there are other times when it’s like anticipation of sweets about to come. Sometimes, it’s worth the wait. The trouble is you don’t know until you’ve had it… But the girls??!! They seem to need it like flowers need the sun. They just don’t open up without it. But this one, this song, is kinda like that girl but you never planned on being with very long. All that foreplay for nothing…

As the story goes Richie Supa, met Steven backstage after not seing each other for a while, and he proceeds to bring an 8 ball in hopes of delighting his, and Steven’s reunion. Steven was like;
“F*** Dude! I broke up with that shit!”…
Needless to say they didn’t get together that night, but like a preacher giving his best sermon ever, he told Ritchie all the reasons why he should give it up. So about a year later after Ritchie convinced Steven that he had found the promised land, they got together to write a song… But like I said earlier there’s some you just don’t plan on staying with, even though you might tell “her” differently. Sad when you think about it though, she was a good song just not good enough.

You see my point here, is that when you’re addicted you have a relationship. It’s a lot like a toxic love relationship. You love it, you hate it, but you just can’t seem to truly live without it…

Sometimes, if we’re really lucky, we have that “Angel of Mercy” to help us find our way out… But sometimes it’s just temporary, at least until we find a replacement. It may not be the same girl, or the same drug, but the results…? Steven said in his book; “Show me a man that has been married 3 times, and I’ll show you a man that married the same woman three times”… So damn true!!!! Same goes with addictions. The chemical may be different, but grip is the same.

The 5th single off of “Get A Grip”, had millions of fans immediately relating it to their own failed and successful relationships, and or life’s adversities and triumphs, not really knowing the true story behind it. And Hey!!! That’s a cool thing! Whatever works, right?

The lyrics are both awe inspiring, and a bit patronizing at times, but for what it was, they worked. However written, lyrics such as;
“When I lost my grip/And I hit the floor.”
They, truly explain Steven’s total loss of himself through addiction. He also gives a peek into his own stubbornness, his unwillingness to admit the place he was at, at the time;
“But I just couldn’t listen
To all that righteous talk… oh yeah
I was out on the street
Just tryin’ to survive
Scratchin’ to stay… alive

The song is about climbing out of the pit. To find your way back after you’ve hit rock bottom, and for that, it is truly a great song. Where I seem to lower it’s place on the poll is that it was written with full hearts, but often times, like in life, you just can’t escape who you are. So it falls a bit short for me. I have never judged Steven, or anyone else for their addictions, and I never will. I know the stories too well. And more than that, I will never be “disappointed” in anyone’s fall from grace, or blame those around them when they fell. Sometimes we just fall, and it’s nice to have someone around you to help you up, rather than scrunch their eyebrows and cross their arms in disgust. However, I do have a problem with the super highs and the super lows, and sometimes that’s why we fall. The key is to find balance… the key is to get even…

So with this Power Ballad, like the wrong woman, she drops down to the 90’s… But you know what?

It was a good time once…

Like Ralph says;
“Life’s a journey, not a destination…”

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I am a man of simple means. My family is what's important to me. My family and my 3 girls mean more to than the sun! If you ask me what I think, I will tell you straight! So don't ask if you don't wanna know. I like people who are real and don't like those who aren't. You'll know where you fit with me pretty quick. I give most everyone the benefit of the doubt, at least until they prove me wrong. I've lived most my life like there was no tomorrow, at least until my daughters were born, and then even a bit after. By the way; That is NOT good advice... just a statement. I don't believe in "Halfway" Why put on the skis if you're not gonna at least try the face? But I also believe that there is more than Black and White. I believe in where I came from, I don't believe what I went through was ALL worth it! I believe in doing the right thing, more than doing what's right! I believe in "true" friendship, I also know that 99% of them aren't true. I will live a happy life and die a complete man if my kids learn from my mistakes.